Does a Communication Coach Tell You What To Do?

Does a communication coach tell you what to say and how to say something in a given situation?

No, they don’t or at least I don’t. However, it has to be said that both communication and voice coaching has more of a proscriptive element in the coaching than executive coaching where, strictly speaking, no input should be given.

Communication Coaching – The Theory Versus the Practice

In order to understand how communication works, the coach may present a theory or a model as a way of explaining the dynamics of influencing, for example. Or, the coach might give you a list of behavioural drivers that can be woven into your language as a way of reaching people who are motivated by language different to yourself. This is only the first step.

If you were working with me, we would then choose a scenario where you perhaps found it difficult to influence a person or a group successfully. We might then practise using language that taps into the behavioural drivers of your audience to create a more successful result. Or we might work on the body language of credibility and practise that. Or we might do both!

Most of the communication coaching session is practical and is focussed on actually practising. By doing so, you begin to create the neural pathways that sit under the behaviours. In the influencing example above, it might be that you don’t use some language patterns in a particular situation where they could be valuable or less likely, you don’t use them at all. We are seeking to habituate behaviours so they can then become a tool in your tool box that you can use or not. The choice is yours.

Voice Coaching – The Theory Versus the Practice

A voice is a composite of different parts – the diaphragm, the lungs, posture, the larynx, the vocal tract, the mouth, the lips – the list could go on.

For your voice to respond flexibly and expressively to your intention there needs to be a calibration between the different parts and each part needs to work optimally. In this case you could argue that there’s a benchmark against which each of the parts are considered to be working well or not. So, in reality, voice coaching can be prescriptive (I’m not going to lie!) because the voice coach is looking for what’s not working in the system, why and how its function can be restored.

Different vocal exercises can be prescribed for different vocal issues. The aim, however, is for your voice to become free and flexible to express want you want to say and how you want to say it in order to meet your professional outcomes. Another way of saying this is, your voice responds to your intention, being an authentic expression of yourself.

The exciting thing about voice coaching is that the aim is to make the voice free. In many ways it’s about restoring the voice to its former free and integrated functioning. Imagine, for a moment, a tiny baby screaming at the top of its voice. I think we can say that in spite of the baby being so small, the voice is huge. The voice is so loud because the voice is free. Nothing, at this young age, is impairing the voice from working at its loudest!

To conclude, voice coaching can be specific, diagnostic and integrative. The point of which is then to let go of all remedial coaching and let the voice fly, without thought, to express you.

What a Communication Coach Never Does:

At least this is what I would never do:

• Tells you what to say
• Tells you how to say it
• Tells you your choices are wrong
• Gets you to do anything that doesn’t feel right or useful
• Doesn't work on whatever situation you would like to work on
• Finds fault with what you’ve done
• Gives advice and says that this is what you should do
• Gets you to adopt behaviours that look artificial
• Gets you to adopt behaviours that after a while still don’t feel like you
• Doesn't explain why we are doing what we're doing
• Gets you to do vocal exercises you don't like
• Makes you look like you've had communication coaching or a personality transplant!

What a Communication Coach Does:

• Always works towards fulfilling your chosen coaching outcomes
• Gives you alternative choices in your communication
• Asks you what you’d like to work on
• Points out all the things that are already working
• Asks you to play bigger (or, more rarely, smaller)
• Asks you how you feel while doing a scenario
• Asks you to think about breathing, gesture, posture or voice
• Asks you to do the scenario again
• Asks if you would like to try a different approach
• Gives you feedback on how different versions came across
• Works on your voice while practising a scenario
• Films you (if you want) so that you can see how you're coming across and get feedback from others
• Treats the coaching relationship and your session in the strictest confidence

What's Next?

If you're considering executive communication coaching and would like to discuss this further, please contact me for a free 30 minute zoom consultation.